sometimes i feel so crappy. think that i'm full of shit. so~ tryin to hide somthing. somethin~ but- i duno wad. but i kno i want [somebody]. ok2... so mushy-mushy. so saddy-teary. enough~!! [scream]
hey hey~ wassup ba~bies?? nthg much right?? as usual la. same here. today~ everyone was so not themselves though their trying to hide it as much as possible but guess wad?? i can tell! gee. hmmm... feel so stress. esp bout my maths. failed practically no~ correction... failed all muh maths test. yup~ all. [sigh] wait~ did i guess type the word "stress"?? pu~lease karmila. ure like only wad?? 14+ & ure stress?? [self talk in other words... totally losing it] stil have a long way~ to go~. like u haven start working.. haven even have ur own family <--copy,paste frm my mama. [grin]
CRAP!! CRAP!! enuff la! hehz. but so~ happy my physic rite?? i passed!! i JUS passed. got 11.5 yeah~~~~!! tot i was gonna failed... hehz. see my target is like so~ low. damn.
yup~... feel like bloggin but dunno wad to blog. jus lettin my fingers do its thing. hahhaz. kz. cherie u evil freak. u lied to me. u played me on. evil. how could u do this to me. argh~ was on the verge of cryin, u freak!!! evil... had ur laugh?? dun worry... i'll find my way to get back at yar~ [evil grin].
you kno wad? u wanna kno smthg? kz... actually rite?? er~ i oso duno. hahhz. wanted to type smthg in the mornin but i jus cant seem to rmb wad it was. hahhaz. kz... nvm.
feel so lonely sometimes
missin the times when u were around
duno wad has gotten into my mind
just give me some time to calm down
what the hell m i thinkin bout?? i duno~. dun ask me. it's just aload of crap. it's jus runnin thru my mind. my fingers are just typin. typin whatever that's come to my mind. so dun pay any attention to me. dun waste ur time. what? what? what~ever...
feel like sharin smthg but~ i cant... cos i- got- to keep it as a secret. a secret. a secret. [kept remindin myself that's a secret] feel like gettin it out of my chest but- i cant. it's a secret. a secret. jus keep prayin that everythin will be fine. [prayin] cos i cant lose u. i love u daddy. [tears]
my mind is in a mess whenever they talked bout it
my heart beats so fast whenever they mentioned it [tears]
i cried and prayed for u cos u kno i love u
tears jus flow out whenever i imagined that u--
/06 hey? how r u? [empty]
u kno wad?? i failed my math again~! & the today's e'maths test i dun kno how to do~~~.... why??? argh~ tried my darness. i give up~!! i give up... almost cried durin recess but i hold it in. dun wanna let anyone see.
val brought her cam. we had the last 2 periods free since mrs fang was not around. so yar. took pictures. like total crazy poses. yup2. so totally ask. 3 saint clare the crazy freaks. nope2... correction! the pretty crazy freaks. hahahz. [paiseh] hhahhaz. -selfpraise-
dun feel like typin. u kno u kno?? early in the mornin, there's this RI chi guy~. very hansem eh! heheh. he was sleepin. yesH~ anyway...
oh yar~ so darn pissed of wif all the mats! wad the hell. get a life la. they and their tapered pants. pu~lease. some of them... no~ most of their legs all so bambo like so no muscle or shape. den image their pants is tapered~ so like 1 thin pole rite?? [imagin] hahahz. den the minahs~ so minah-fied. hahahz. [shake head] their make up so darn thick. their eyebrown is like disapearin or in the shockin state. hahahz. den their skirts so darn short. might as well dun use skirt la. like lil bit above knee or i wadever is acceptable/understandable la~ but theirs~~~... ish ish ish. ok2. hahhaz. & wad's wif the concept2 thingy?? so loser-fied. no originality. "oh i jappers/hiphopers/bikers/..." big deal ar??
was in the bus wif the regent pple. bloodie hell they smelt of cigerettes. like totally wadever. when i got up to alight of 1 of them shouted, sayin that he forgot to ask for my no.?? pulease la~ like i'm gonna give my my~ no. to a mat/smocker like u?? & everyone ended up luffin at me. like wadever. loser~ u!
//06 confused [str8 or not??] none of the above arh?? duno~ not interested~!
i fell...! my pretty leg aint pretty no more...!! [ego] hahahz. i fell durin PE while running. the 2rnds. see! i told miss ng der's no nd to run but NO~ she didn listen to me. fine! hahhaz. knew i shldnt have ran & jus use the "mc" as an excuse... but no~ they asked me to & i listen to them. knew i shldnt have gone to sch. hahahz. knew it! knew it! but now damn it! hhahahz. my poor pretty leg! it's ugly. hahahhz. i fell then cherie, val & michelle took advantage & followed me to the toilet. i kno okay~?? u sly freaks. hahahhz. thought there's only 1 big cut but there's actutally 4 okay?? the rest was smaller la. was luffin when i found that out. hahhaz. they think i'm mad. think i'm immune to pains cos of hockey. hahhahz but not my fault rite?? it wasnt painful. okay2 next time i act. hahhaz. i pretend. [grin]
was like in the army! hahhaz. competin wif 3a gurls. see which class cld count the loudest while doing push up & sit up. of cos i didn do la. the cut was on my knee so cant... yar. hahhahx [grin]. so i was the 1 who shouted "down!" or "up!". hahahz. fun!! xiao wei cheated!!! i saw! i saw! hahahz.
den played soccer. i totally forgot bout the injuries. hahahz. at first warmin up~. hahhaz. val & i stood at the middle of the field... hahhaz... and u kno wad?? it looked like chickens were on the lose!! hahhaz. so messy! like mcm~?? i duno la! hahhaz. shld have brought video cameras den can record. hahhahz. funny~.
den the "competition" begin. the pole dancers -me, jes, pei, natria, wei xuan, marcia, amanda, ying wei & yolanda- vs the nameless grp -olive, michelle, anisha, nithiya, meiyi, sheralynn, cherie & darshini- . hahhaz. walau! damn violant sia!!! they kicked the ball all so darn high! den alwz kena my grp members boobies. hahhaz. if u watched us play, for sure u will die of luffter. but yar~ very gd. encouraged 1 another but dun think it helped. hahahz. so darn noisy. hhahahz. & i wan to complain!! the 1st goal wasnt a goal ok?? u kuku. so u think the pole bendable ar?? they kicked the ball & it kenna the cone & they said it was a goal??? hhahaz. but neva mind. pole dancers!! never give up! never surrender! hahahz. yup2~! we too scored later on!! hahahz. yup! that 1 was by luck de lar. hahahz. like mcm ping pong u kno?? hahhahz. yar~! hahahz. kick2 den score!! or rather kick2 den went in. hahhaz.
mini skirt!! which part of no goal keepin dun u understand?? huh?? do i have to spell it out for u?? [stare] hahhaz. the score was pos to be 2-1 but that kuku dun seem to undstnd en-ge-lish ar~ [shake head]. hhhahhz. but nvm it was fun. hhahhaz. & michelle kicked the ball so darn hard that it hit my shoulder & den to pei's boobs. hahhahz. lots & lots of shitty/funny/crappy mistakes happened. hahhaz. rite yolanda?? hahhaz. natria ran to the ball, screamin. i was so scared to go near her at that point of time. hahhaz. lucky we played wif no rules. hahahz. i did an honourable thing. my grp members shld be proud of me. hahhaz. i pulled meiyi alway, grapped her hand, hold onto her cos she was the best player among all of us. hahahz. cheat2. foul.
oh yar~ when we scored rite?? we sang "she bangs! she bangs" & did his dance. hahahhaz. ok2 wadever! hahhaz. hmmm... [blush] hahahz. fun~! fun~!
durin lit~... cherie, pei & i kept singin "come wad may~!" to irritate miss lee. hahahhz. ok2. oh yar~ match at temasek poly against sngs. won 3-nil. hahz. but i didn play. -no surprise- hhahhaz. but nvm had fun over there. hahahhz. was the microphone. hahahz. practically all the sec3s were the microphone. and arh~ wad the hell!!! my skirt -the yellow skirt- damn micro ar... super standard!! den somemore my leg got cut. very "shiny" hahahz... cos of the blood gliterin in the sun. hahahz. -m i makin yall sick?? if i m den i've accomplished my mission- hahahz. yup2. damn short ar. hahhaz. so funny. hahhaz. oks. reached home ard~ late 8pm?? and there's so much hmks to do!! argh~! cos was absent. yup2. hahahz wadever... hahahz. ok2. buaiz arh~ or else non stop typing. hahahz. bla BLKALOHSRFIUHRUIR.... STOP!!
//06 formin slowly~
hey hey~. made a mistake. shldnt have praised u. yup. so bhb. like wadever yar. hahz. yar anw. didn go to sch today. was so darn~ sick ytd. was sneezin the whole darn day. hate it. prefered coughin though. hahahz. k~. wadever. yup2. asked everyone to donate their tissues to me. hahahz. helped them finish it. dun waste. hahahz. cos i nd it more den u. yar. ahhahaz. yar. thanks yall. hahhaz. now my nose hurts. hahahz.
the world's comin to an end. help~! amanda is concentratin in sch. wad's goin on?? no~~! hahahz. kz. wadever. hahahz. & there's a pimple on my nose!! crisis! e-mer-gen-cy!!! help!! [losin it].
today passed so~ fast. dad's in singapore!! yeah~. love him loads. hahhaz. i'm the owner of the house. hahhaz. daddy's home. hahhaz. u~ shall obey my commands [referin to my sister]. hahahz.
time really flies. it's alr february & CA started real~ soon. i meant like total soon. like~... i duno when but real~ soon. hahhaz. [panic] hahahz. must really concentrate & get down to business. no more lovey dovey, stonin & no more "no mood to study". ok2. kno i've been sayin this... must study & all but i'm total serious dis time okay?? totally meant every single word i said or every letter the word is made up of. totally must study. totally must think bout my future. fu-TURE pple!! think bout ur own fu-Ture!!! [stare] and a small part not wantin to disappoint anyone... i meant everyone if my results continue to be like this. yar [sniff]. hahahz. come to think bout it, thank god i was sick ytd. gave me time to think & stuff at home. in another words i was damn bored at home. hhahahz.
//06 lovin everyone
hahaz.. ytd was total fun. 100% fun. hehz. went back afte trng to bathe & stuff. den went to beach. hahhaz. jonathan body was so nice~ [tryin to recall]. hahahz. built a sand castle [rolled eyes]. hahahz. it was b-e-u-ti-ful. hahahz. to me la. it even had a swimmin pool. hahz. to me la it looked like 1. hahahz. but to lyn... er wad did she say?? hahahz. better not tel u la~ later malu myself. hahahz. bla3 den went back to benji the dawg's place. ian tried to teach me how to play drums afte benjamin had given up. hahhaz. at 1st i was okla. maintain. hahhaz. rockin on. hahahz. den he fastered the tempo. the beats & i got confused. mixed up so i anyhow play. hahhaz. he snatched the stickes away den wen out to the living room & told benjie that he was totally rite. like wadever okay u bloodie asshole. hahaz. but arh~. ian's gf damn pretty~ ar. hahahz. was totally lookin at her. hahaaz. but she's a bitch. to me la. so totally ian this, ian that & 4ever searchin 4a mirror. like totally wadever!!! hmph. bitches [shake head]
[he] looked at me & asked 4patch. but i stupidly sat quietly. y?? hahhaz. glance at him & den looked down. hmmm... didn kno wad to say though i kno it was comin all day long cos i kept changin the subject whenever he sounds serious. maybe i dun want to. maybe it's too long. too long til i'm gettin bored of u. maybe i treat u as a brother nowadays rather den~... maybe i dun want to get hurt cos 4sure i'll do smthg stupid &.. maybe i shld jus shut up... hahhaz. yesh~ karmila. u stil can joke at this point of time. hahhaz. hey~ wad~ever~. hahahx
took a cab home cos was gettin late. he paid 4 me though. i didn ask him too, he jus offered. so yar. den bla3. dun wanna type no more. yup. went to gym today~!! hahahz. went to town. hahahz. so funny. i can carry 70-90 kg of weights in sch's gym but over there, the heaviest i cld was 30. like wadever rite?? hahahz. den the toilet so darn nice. like mcm hotel like that. hahahz. left my mama & sis to meet von. watched u-21 finals against jasenites?? -spell like that??- hahahz. den went home. today was deaf day [insid joke] cos evryone's ringin tones in the mrt was darn loud. like competin who's the loudest. hahahz. yar~ niwae have to do my hmk. yar. buaiz.
//06 gettin back together. bits by bits.
i feel so pathetic arh. so malu. so arh~~! hahahz... so paiseh of my valentine gifts 4oders. totally sorry okay?? was on a tight budjet. hahhaz cos~ i explain okay?? hhahhaz. had 2 buy 3 birthy-day presents & i o ying wei hers' too so yar. left 4bucks 4 v-day gifts. hehz. so yar~. sorry. understand abit la okay?? esp u~!! fifty-dolar gurl~ [grin]. so hehe i bought 3packets of different sweets. tape em together. yar~ & guess wad?? it's all "gone" by the 4th period. yesh~ goody. was like "oh yar... happy valentine's day TOO. nah urs". den give2 den gone & now i o alot i repeat ALOT of pple. argh~... hahahz. but nvm la, i guess??
cherie~ thanks 4the bear. elis er~ thanks for the bottle. yar. liy~, wifey dear, thanks 4the "flower". yo yo yo chiobu~, thanks for the lamb pencil. hahahz hope no double meanin ar <-- mini skirt teach me. [grin] melissa &~ vic thanks for the~ candle. & everyone else~!! thnks 4the sweeties. hahhaz. gonna put on weight. yea man~!! wahahhaz. cant belive u guys actually had the time to wrap nicely. [paiseh]
the councillor shit was so boring except for the dancin & acting. total hilarious. cant blieve actually i~... nvm ar~. hehz. natria, u didn miss a thing. yar. anw went to town wif cheryl darlin afte that. oh yar & oso wif olive & sylvia. hehz. oops. luff & stuff. so funny~. yar. we open a singles club, S dot C. hahahz. yar. i'll alwz be there 4u okays?? 24seven. rmb wad u told me?? no gurl/boy is worth ur tears & the 1 who is... wont make u cry.
was in a dilemma jus now. hahahz. whether i shld take the balloon or not. hahahz. stood in the middle of the road, kept changin my mind. until olive told me to make up my mind, final decision. stop changin or she's gonna smack me. i was a lil scared off her so i said no~, i dun want. hahhaz. so went back to cine, on our way to the bus stop behind taka when mel walked toward us & told me she wanted/going to take the balloon. hehz. den i was like i oso want!! den olive & sylvia gave me that looked & asked me to go & take quickly. they'll be waitin at the bus stop. hehehz. so we went. the q was so long. den the person gave out the thing hehz. i cut q, took 1 & went off. went to the bus stop & took the bus. hehz.
in the bus sylvia kept talkin. olive fell aslp 1st. leavin me to entertain sylvia. was like feelin so darn tired. wishin sylvia cld jus fall back & doze off [grin]. hahahz. sorry2. so i told her, " eh~! olive slp liao eh". but all she did was looked at olive den continued talkin. hahahz. den i took out my head set & she told me she too had it so we listened listen to the radio den i told her good nite den close my eyes & slp. hahahz. yar~... it works. hahahz.
tie the balloon to my bag. got off the bus at cck & everyone looked. oklar~ i kno la v-day is tmr~. so?? that doesnt mean i cant carry a heart-shaped balloon rite?? kuku~. jealous say lar. hahahz. k~.... [3 fingers out]. hahhaz. yar. gtg. have ngaji later. so yar. happy valentine's day pple. yeah~... see ya in town tmr okays?? hahahz.
//lala wonderin y she's feelin so young [inside joke]. hahhahhaz
ok~.... sch was as usual... hahhaz. yesh~. hehz. PE was fun. so~ totally awake. yesh. played soccer. hahz. but the thing is that we were in grp of 3s & interlock wid each other. den it was the yellow vs the red. but we didn follow the rules. [as usual] hahhaz. val ran off wif the pole & hit the ball. den pei ran off leavin her grp members & i followed her. we went SOLO. hahhaz. she kicked too darn far & i picked it up & played like rugby. duno y ar. hahahz. yar. den devaki ran afte me. yesh~. touch down. hahahahz. [luffin damn loud]
english period was total fun. yup. had to create a name 4our grp. yar. grped wif jes, nithiya & michelle. hehz. -cnt stop luffin-. yea. hehz. pei, natria, amanda & yolanda had darshini aka sri langkah aka mini skirt aka pointed boobs in their grp. hahhaz. when ms lee asked them whether mini skirt cld join, my grp, pei's grp & ying wei's -cherie, olive, marcia- grp was total silent. hahahz. so auto~. yar. kz. my grp name is awinbowet?? hahhaz. den mini skirt is sexay mamas & ying wei's er~... cant rmb. hehz. when ms lee asked wad the hell awinbowet is... hahhahz... we stood up & sang to her.. correction~!!! i sang to her cos my grp members were too busy luffin~!!! u kno the song??? in the jungle the mighty jungle the lion slps tonite. den i made the monkey noise/sound. yar that 1!!! hahahz. den miss lee looked at us or rather stared at us in total shock. hehz. jes told her that if she wanted to call us she must sing the whole song. hahhaz~! but she jus stared. so i told her that she must sing all the grp names. den we sang all the song/name. hahhaz. nat's grp song is hey mama, val's grp name is oh faint so we sang to the tune of linkinpark. some made up 1 ar cos she duno that there's no such song EVER existed. hahahz. like someone's grp name is pretty in pink?? den ms lee asked how does the song goes so i said i'm pretty in pink~ but~ not in blue~. it's too lost in u & she said too lost in lurve?? den she dun even kno sugarbabes!! fun~!!
had trng just now. not really trng lar. hahahz. must train the sec1s. hahaz. 1 gurl so~ totally cute u kno. arh~~! hahhaz. nola... just ya. hehz. kz. gtg. lurve. hahhaz.
den when to buy pei's b'day present & valentine day stuff la. haiya... hahhaz... i was fun rite nithiya?? [grin]
//guess who's back?? back again?? 06's back... bla bla bla. hahhaz
hmmm~.... wad is wrong wif me nowadays that i kept typin dis crappy/saddy/shitty stuff? heh? -check temperature- ok wad?? no fever. hmmm~... my world jus crumbled down when i said the 3words to [u]. how cld [u] take it so~ seriously, knowin that i didn meant it & that i was damn frustrated at that point of time. that very moment. ya~.. i kinda like no~ m atrracted to [someone] else but i duno whether it's jus an inflatuation or the real darn thing.
ok~... enuff of that heh?? yar~... shall change. shall blog no more bout my misery or sufferings cos too much let out is jus~.... no good?? i duno. jus doesnt feel rite?? jus nthg to hide frm yall. wadeva karmila~ yar~... u shld kno wad i mean by now la. stil not switched to the happy mood yet. stil investigatin wher was the last place i left myself. stil tryin to find me. so many things is left undone. stil so many things is left unsaid. -wonderin wad the world wld b like if evrythin was done-
hey hey waddup babies?? hehz? guess wad?? i improved my maths by 3 marks. hehz. now it's 3/10. hahhaz. yup. so proud of myself. [rolled eyes] but nv de mind. hehz. there's a match tmr against fajar & guess wad?? i'm in. so much 4 being sad & crying my hrt out & spoilin everyone's mood jus bcos of this cos it's a load of crap. wrote a letter & i'm in but she didn & she's in. hmmm... yesh. shld hav not make it a big thing. not really i made it la... jus tat news spread fast. yesh. as usual. oh yar. i hate the 'sri langkah' gurl~! cant believe she said i ran slow. me & pei. like totally wadeva~. the 1st time is cos we planned to run slowly cos it was only pe & wanted to finis the same time but the 3rd time i beat her ok~!!! & pei drew wif her. come on lor. in track she's like the slowest den now u want to compete wif other sports. go & die la u arsehole. totally gone case ar~ not gonna save u ar, not sayin that i wanted to in the 1st place but i'm not~! [grin].
//06 can stil survive w/o [u] jus like b4 i met [u]
think i've totally changed? pls say i have not. i'm scared of so~ many things rite now but stil tryin to hold on. i make stupid decisions and the 1 that i shld do, i think twice & hide frm them. i'm startin to drift away frm everyone. i've totally lost it. i duno wad to say to em. we cant click no more. cant blame them. it's all my fault. miss the luffters & tears we shared. the feelin of dominatin. the feelin of i dun nd anyone else except u guys. the feelin of bein protected. the feelin of...
sch just keeps gettin borin.
only once a while there's a meanin behind my smile.
sch jus isnt the same.
only once a while i found the meanin to hold on
just dun understand how last time we can have so much fun & yet pass everythin.
still dun understand how we could have so much fun eventhough we kno sec2 life is bout studys.
but i totally dun understand y now there's only half the fun as last year yet i'm failin everything.
the major think is that i duno how to concentrate in class cos a part of me stil wants that 'fun' we had last year.
studys fun fun studys. y cant i have both fun &~ studys like last year.
was total havoc... in a way la.
everyday has smthg to look for. dun wanna skip sch cos dun wanna miss out on anything.
hmmm... y cant we choose our own classmates?? hehz?? then for sure i'll pick u, u & u. hehz.
maybe i've left a part of me behind in 2a.
cos smthg is totally missin
cos it isnt the same
hehz... duno wad made me type dis way or y i'm typin all of this out.
jus typin wadever is in my mind just lettin everyting out
//06 searchin my [herself] back
hmmm~ wad if i told u tat i like u??
wad if i told u i'm fallin for u??
wld u change the way u look at me??
wld u start avoidin me??
hehz... a load of crap. total crap.
thought i hate u but my hrt beats fast when i walked pass u.
cld dis mean?? no~
must be ur look~ must be the look. it's alwz the look~ it's alwz the look.
baby i'm too lost in you caught it you lost it everthing bout u so deep i cant sleep i cant think i just think bout the things u do i'm to lost in you
ah~ i'm so~ bored. hehz. no hmk~... hahahz. i duno wad to now. too much time~. y like that?? not now~ not when i dun need it most. argh~ bloodie -- wait~! shoot~! i have e maths test tmr... hahahz... ok2. bye. got to go. cant fail anymore. the feelin suck. total~ly. hehz. l[u]m2.
//feelin crappy
hmmm yesh~ summary?? hehz...woke up late. went to sch. late 4 mornin runs. den concentrate durin lessons. [applaud] erm~... okla~ most of the lessons [grin], at least i did try?? [stare]. ok~ pple dot dot dot ignore me~. wahahhaz. went town afte that wif pei han, natria, amanda & iris. ate at ljs. yar den went home wif nat. talk2 all the way home. hahhaz. yar~... thats all. hahahz.
cant belive that mrs fang actuallie lectured us cos we didn win the hari raya haji class decoration competition. said we dissappointed her -i summoriz la... hahahz cos she talk alot la~- ... hmmm~ ok?? hahhaz. we'll do our best nxt time ok?? hahhaz... ok2. totally losin it. yar. must write happy2 stuff cos [some]one readin. if i write touchin2 den [she]'ll disturb me tmr. [grin] omg. my england today so powderful rite?? hehz.
oh yar~. must tell yall smthg. hhahahz. like mcm mak cik kpo ar. hehz. qualify not?? k~... by myself as usual -three fingers out- in 190 rite?? yesh~ it's 190. 2 minahs tryin to speak english to dis mat ar~... orh i think is an indian guy la. looks like an indian fellow... ok nvm~ back to the topic which is~ their england so powderful ar~. was like so obvious~. [grin] hahahz. the minahs kept sayin "urm... urm" tryin to think of the nxt big word they could use. tryin to impress the guy i guess?? hehhz... damn. shld have heard the way they were speakin. THEN the guy... no typo it's then the mat arh~... kept sayin "fuck" this & that. okla~ no harm rite sayin fuck but the thing that gets on my nerve was that he stresses on that word. stresses on fuck. i meant total stressin u kno?? k... nvm~. is it just me or is all mly gurls/boys in convent/institute sch anti their own race & their mly language is like totally lousy?? like as if their not mly themselves. hahhaz. oklar~. majority of them. some still falls in that category. but nvm~... my close frens all anti minahs & mats. so loserfied. hehz. totally. say it wif me pple... totally~ [smile]
//06 think i'm startin to fall for [u] but who m i to ...u?? just a fren~. just a fren~.
hmmm... yesh~ cried the whole mornin ytd when shaleen told me i'm out. cant believe i'm outta b'div. totally confused. i only didn attend 4 trngs & that is cos my mom didn allow me 2 cos i failed my maths test badly. i meant like totally badly like zero upon 10. like that type of badly & just passed my bio by a mark. & oso ytd's game against polis. like hello?? ytd was hari raya haji rite?? tried askin my parens 2 let me go but got scolded instd. not like as if i didn attend a month or 2 or even 3 weeks' trng which i kno some did that but yet~ their in the team. what?? excuse me?? how unfair is that?? umm~... totally not!
fine~. nvm~. i'll jus think positively. hehz. my famous line eh nithiya?? hehz? [sigh] sylvia consoled me ytd. hehz. felt so~-- on supposingly 2b a happy day, hari raya haji. the weirdest thing was that on sat, mmm wanted 2kick sylvia out of b'div too bcos sylvia got into higher chi & the lesson & the trng dates clashed. hmmm~.... isnt studys pos to be more impt?? nvm &~ michelle got scoldin cos she had council meetin & no 1 told the tchers 4her. yesh~ that is how our team is like. like if ure in the "group" u'll 100% be safe & if ur not than... u better be alert. that's all i have to say. [no offence but it's so~ darn obvious]
and i only have 2 skirts not 3. thanks for makin things worse. of couse i told [u] last min~... how the hell wld i kno that my parents dun allow me to go & play that day. somemore my dad came back the previous night so it's tougher to go. it's not like i didn try. i totally tried & totally got scoldin. major scoldin like wad i dun respect my own religion?? wad?? i totally dun understand everyone. oh fuck~. to hell wif all of this. it aint worth it.
went for every trng that i cld & jus bcos of 4trngs & 1 game... i'm out?? jus like that?? wad?? it's a total waste. all my energy/sweat is a total waste. sylvia & i came to a conclusion that it's not the sport, it's the pple in it. lucky for teresa. this~ is~ her last year. allison's totally right. no more interest. no more passion. no more lovin it.
//lala ponderin wad have she done wrong [tears] & lookin ahead as tmr is a new day again?? [shrugs]
.:me:.
.:wishingfor:.
.: scream :.
amalina
karmila
lala
hockey
| zerosix |
theresian
30th April 1989
4 saint clare'04
silencer
you =))
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