Sunday, November 28, 2004

k, i've got the urge to blog..
feel like talking but there's no one to "talk talk" to. and the best part is that... there's nthg to talk abt. HAH.

all we do is argue..

so just bare with me.. or better still.. go, save yourself. hahaa. k, think this is funny. hahahaa. i'm like talking to myself. oh, think i'm gonna erase this blog soon cause somehow, i dont feel like updating anymore? hahahaa.

hate it when the word of the week is: sorry..

i dont watch soccer anymore. somehow, i'm getting use to liverpool constantly losing. hahhaa so am i still a liverpool fan? bleah.. i dont know? hahhaa and i've totally lost track of the scores and matches... oh and the best part is that... i cant rmb the last conversation/arguement i had abt them or any other team.
hahaha sorry, saw the lfc soccer ball that sopna gave me so yeah.. hahahh.

guess what i found out??? lucky the doctor saw that smthg was wrong with my feet when i was a baby. hah and did smthg like tape it outwards or smthg? hahha or else i wld be sitting on a wheelchair now cos i wldnt be able to stand. hahhaa.. damn, i wld be having a whole different life if he didnt do anything.. hahaa and my mom was like, "you shld be grateful that you can run, walk". i am... hahaa i am.. but..

How'd I let it get this far
What was going through my mind
Why'd you seem to have it all
Yet you're not mine
Started off as just good friends
Still we always step the line
Coz falling for you was so easy

Ohh..You're everything I want
You're everything I need
You're everything I want my girl to be
And even though I know
You're in someone else's heart
I can't bare to be apart
See I've fallen for you
And I've gotta let you go
And I know that I have got to
Find a way to get on with my life
I don't wanna let you go (let you go)
But it's killing me inside (inside)
How can I just carry on
I need some piece of mind (need some piece of mind)
How do I just move along (along)
And ignore the love so strong (so strong)
So until I see this through
I'll be holding on to you
To you... baby...

Throughout the years with her I've tried
To find the joy beyond the pain
But when the words and tears subside
Girl it's still the same
And I can't look into her eyes
Without thinking about you
See I've tried but these feelings won't leave me
I look away when he holds you
For I'm afraid that I might find
The look in your eyes
That I see when you were mine
So tell me why I've got to be
The one to walk away
And leave you there in someone else's arms

so much for "there's nthg to talk abt".......

i told you at 9:32 AM

... MORNING!

shall update.. feel like it.. or rather i need to go smthg while waiting for my sis to get dress. hahaa

hmmm what's new? i'm darker.. there's a cut on my lip.. dots. feel so ugly. hahaah change topic! hahhaa.

• i miss obs.. like alot alot.
• miss saying "fooh" to pple who understand. hahhaa.
• miss delia's cold jokes.
• miss nat and cheang's laughter.
• miss partner. hahah oh now that i mentioned that. i have a NEW partner. hahaha alicia. my erm everything partner? hahhaa
• miss the motherly xuan..
• miss jo's whine... hahah
• miss michelle's toilet bowl..
• miss her hugs everyday
• i miss hating the papayas!!!!! papaya 1, 2, 3, 4 and papaya tree!!
• oh i miss jon, without the "h"

oh nat... that survivor-bung's name is joanna according to pei. hahhaa

to be continued....

i told you at 10:47 AM

..... guess what? i didnt fast today. dots. so... that's like eleven days?
so hari raya is tmr? but i dont feel like hari raya-ing...

JUST realise that i'm grandmotherless. hahhaa. both sides. think that's very saddening... tmr will be diff.. i guess? without my grandmother on my dad's side.. can totally imagine her with her big big sunglasses.. hahaa yeah, when we take photo. hahaa cos somehow the flash is too bright for her. hahaa alws thought that was funny. dots... and other stuff... arhh...

cant say much or rather cant say anything abt my mom's cos i dont know her? literally... i'm grandma-maless!!!! hahhaa.

didnt expect myself to cry while hearing the takdir.. oh.... i didnt clean or wipe anything.... ok, just the table.. hahaha didnt feel like doing anything... oh fuck... dont think any of YOU will understand.. hell, i dont even expect myself to feel like this...

dad went to his father's place without me... i'm pissed. the least he cld do is wake me up... whatever.

cant be bothered with anything now.........................................

/"get lost"---> i'm trying...

CHENG!!! WRU?! forget it.. just like everyone/thing else...

i told you at 8:40 PM

met my sis at her work place. hahaha. she's weird. ok, in a good way? hmmm... laughed alot and everything on her today is PINK. dots.. she bought a PINK wallet and collected her PINK specs.. her attire, excluding her pants.. is pink. gosh..

she commented on everything and everyone.. hahah and her ego is so big! cant stand it. hahaa. k... enough abt that.. oh i did a good thing, i bought the whole dan brown collection cos i felt guilty...? there goes my money.. hahhaa. shalnt go into that... hahah

ok, i'm pissed. [feel very colorful today?]

ok.. first thing first...

michelle IF that's your REAL name:
SCREW YOU. hahhaa. ok.. this is not a laughing matter.
wth is your problem? hmmm... the previous entry is not refering to anyone... if it is.. i wld have written smthg like "to you:"? or whoever whoever laa.. arghh..

next, i promised to blog abt [ you ] so yeah:

you better be grateful that i didnt type YOUR name..
I don't know what's so wrong abt remaining as friends. In the past, You were for the idea. so what went wrong? I still care for You, as a friend. to think You can even say You don't need Me as a friend. You said You need to get over Me, and that I'm not giving You a chance to. if You're determined to get over Me, it'd be easy.Right? so, why do You have to stop all contact with Me. I hear what You're saying. but I don't see the need for that. Seriously. since that's what You want, then I don't need You as a friend either. I just want to be there for You, as a friend. but I guess its not necessary. Okay. I don't give a flying fuck abt You anymore. hope You're happy now. so anyway.

my family's task :
my father : mop the floor and repair whatever that is broken or whatever he
wants to do.. hahaha
my mother: bake? cook? i dont know
my 1st sister: hmmm... clean whatever that needs to be clean and fold whatever that need to be fold
my 2nd sister: sama with my 1st la
me : wipe the windows!!!!!! and all the glass and mirrors!

argh.. me?? a fifteen year old kid have to wipe the windows?! tsk! hahhaha.. they dont care abt my safety???? arghhh.. hahha oh, i'm pissed. hahhaa.. i am..

i told you at 6:15 PM

Have I finally gotten it?
Now, My heart bleeds no more.
It's been turned to stone ( Like Yours).
I've broken both my legs that fell for You.
Recalling back would only sharpen My sense of pain.
But outside my heart bleeds no more now.
There's nothing else to do.
I wanted to provide you with proof of what you put me through
If I were to pretend that I were so happy,I'd keep it to myself.
I won't let the cat out of the bag.
"You're the worst thing that ever happened to Me."
That was what I told Myself.
But is there any truth in that statement?
A shattered memory of You is all that I have now.
I've sacrificed my pride.
But what did I get in return?
I wrote You letters that You never read.
Wasted all My breath on paper.
Everything I wrote meant nothing to You.
You smashed My heart into dust.
Thoughts of You are suffocating My mind.
Its tearing Me apart, inside.
I waited years to say how much I care.
The flowers I gave You, died.
Lost and been thrown away, just like Me.
Life has passed Me by,Its reflected in My eye.
Never will I have You beside Me.
The years cost more than I'll ever have.
Now I'm waiting just to hear Your voice.
I waited all this time just to see Your smile.
And to tell You that I care.
Can You see Me waiting for You everyday?
But, You won't ever see Me waiting again.
However foolish My heart may be,I'd be deemed senseless to wait again.
Funny how Your words kill Me.
So ironic that a heart that's broken can be easily fixed.
But, the hurt it experieced would last a lifetime.
To be cast aside again and again by You,
My fairly inexperienced heart can't take it anymore.
Or perhaps,My heart's numbed to the pain.
I'll make it through.
And You will be around to see it.
Cause, soon all these will change.
Pave the way.


i told you at 11:04 AM

i frightened my grandfather ytd and he jerked. hahaha.. oh i start my cousin's bike the engine ytd. hahahhaa i almost pushed it down.. reached home ard 11plus plus plus? hmmmm... hahahha

today was FUN! excluding some parts..

at first sylvia and i had a task to "welcome parents and bring them to cherie/sarah there"? waited for a few minutes and welcomed the theresians instead since we had no "business". hahaha was funny cos every adult that walked down the stairs, sylvia said "coming coming". it was rather saddening that no parent came cos i "praticed" my line to alot of pple alr. hahha..

the grp that hanwei and i took was freaking irritating. so rude. they actually said "stuffs" to the bball and netball girls. idiots. but honestly, we really suck la. hahhaaa, we admit. hahaha.

blablabla.. laughed laughed with batu and miss seah, blablabla toured finished then disturbed mel and co then shits... THEN played the other cca.

okay, i CANT play tennis i admit. hahhahaaa i hit the ball and it flew all the way up to the roof.. and it rolled down. hit and it flew to the audi and hit again and it hit the door. hahahha jaime don't allow me to play anymore hahha but elaine was really really good. hahhahaaa.

then... i cant rmb what i did? but i know i walked and got a "slap" frm nat cos i flicked her.. i sweared i wanted to cut all her picture out and throwed it away. hahahaaa. oh i played badminton with cheng, dionne and rat. we hardly played cos we laughed alot. hahaah. in the end they got scolding frm xiao wei. hahaa

oh i almost broke the magazine rack at the foyer. hahaha cos i was stoning? while thinking abt stuff? not impt. waited for pei and we're off to town...

just felt like gng out you know you know? don't wanna go home.. and i didn't
expect after sch to be so fun cos cheryl and pei were slping in the bus and dionne and cheng busy talking while i was tired or rather didn't feel like talking. cher left so we went to cine, food court. hahaahaa ok the fun begins.. hahha

distracted myself frm eating or drinking by reading out loud what happen next week for the chi show. hahhaa very funny cos every sentense i read, surely someone will comment on the actors. like macam some bitchy grp arh. esp dionne. hahaaa. and they kept scolding me!! cos i looked at their drinks.... dots... hahhahaa god knows how long we're down there. hahahaa. AND I LOST the softball ball....... HANWEI!!!!!!!

then went up to take neo. hahhahahaa took my fav machine. the 3 cameras in a row that one. and again pei surrendered first, followed by me then dionne. whoa... i tell you, cheng was damn into la. hahahha we gave up alr.. like we're on the floor sitting down alr then she, "pei... hurrry" hahhaa. decorating the pic was another headache. hahhaa stupo. was jumping k cos time was running out and like must erase/adjust... u know? pressure? hahhaa...

at the escalator, i said JOKINGLY to take another neo sooo we went to heeren. hahah dionne was like promoting this machine la. hahaha oh [grin] i did smthg to cheng.. hhahaa she got scared. sorry. hahhaa k.. shhh.. oh yeah.. hahaha cheng sorry for slamming the door at the toilet went i saw ur face too? hahahha. [inside joke]

went to taka. hahhahaa. bought present for val and sylvia. difficult sia. hahhaa. everything also cheng said no. stupo. kkk.

oh~ cheng bought this file.. hahaha and the lady asked her if she wanted a carrier. she said yes and the lady said the only bag she has is a paper bag, u know? the BIG big taka one? hahha and cheng said NVM... dots or dots? like in the big big big paper bag is one pathetic thin thin thin file????????? hahahha we're laughing throughout the "journey" to the bus stop. hahhaah.

ok, i missed out some parts cos think this is long enough. hahahaa. hmmm... i'm hungry........ haha tc.

sunshine: i do care...

/3080366808633778263


i told you at 5:57 PM

oh guess what? i was late for trng AGAIN. hahhahaaa. so typical of me. hahaha when i intentionally wanna be late, i'll arrive either on time or earlier. vice versa. u shld get it. hahahha

physical was hell and trng was a torture. erm come to think of it, trng was alright la? just that i was totally tired? hahhaa AND guess what? i broke ahem.. my fast. shit la.. nine straight days. somehow, when i typed that, i "saw" pei giving me that face. hahhaha i cld imagine her giving me that karmila-u-die-good-luck face. hahaha don't ask me why. hahahaha k, gotta fast tmr. i promised! hahhahaa. not my fault abt today! honest, just cldn't tahan after physical? dots... hahah heck, why the hell am i "defending" or rather explaining...? hmmm... hahahha.

oh first thing that came to me when i saw jes was "frienster" hahaha.. i add you alr!! hahahha.. and the other pple. hahahhaa. thousand apologies. hahahaa

was freaking high on the way home or rather at the bus stop. hahaha sylvia's ignoring me okay! tsk.

oh yeah, forgot, i saw that freak <--- stacy's new nickname. at ccab. hahhaa. and and amelia tan MUN HUI! ok, cant help it but i like to disturb mun hui hahahha.

ok think this is enough.. erm tc
i told you at 3:20 PM

sunshine:
er.. somehow i'm feeling guilty for not saying "anything" on sunday. i mean yeah, cldn't think on the spot. cant work under pressure rmb? hahahaa erm hope the hug helped? hee? sorry again.. i mean yeah. suddenly that "...i just cry..." line.. erm.. yeah.. tc. hahahaa. don't stop singing, k? hehx. your no.1 fan. :)

ok.. back. for awhile.

went cycling in the afternoon. hahaha but it was raining and normally, u wld go back up, right? since its raining and all...? hahhaa.. it was fun. hahahaa. oh i fell. hhaaha.. k, usually i wldn't have told anyone if i fell or whatsoever.. hahaha but i duno? haha i fell while gng down the slope? haha and i stupidly paddle knowing that its raining so its like slippery and stuff? hahahaa.. and muh phone is wet!!! and my ipod is wet! f-reak. haaah.

k, gtg. the chinese show. hahhaa. oh notting hill at nine! channel i.. hahaha.. she's soo pretty. HAH.. but still think faezah's prettier.. wait.. er... oklah.. sama sama.. hahaha..

/6796
i told you at 9:38 PM

___ so finally i've decided to update. hahhahaa. relinked & linked y'all.

cldn't find a nice-nice skin or rather.. i scanned through 3 or 4 and gave up? wanted to upload a song but... FORGET IT.. somehow i cant figure out which song to choose..

tsk tsk... so negative.. hahhaa.. kkk

ANYWAY.. dots...
still can't think of anything to blog abt. okay,i lied. hahhahaa.

oh wait.

kiri :
TSK! when did i EVER say i hate you?? i don't. ok.... SOMEtimes, you know you know. hmmm... thank you to you too? hahah for updating my blog and all the trashy things you did or tried to do. hahha kinda shock when i read that.. i don't. oh oh! sorry abt the msg.. that last sunday msg. didn't mean for it to end like that.. kk.. think i shld stop. hahahhaha

read what i just typed and realised that THIS don't make any sense. tsk. shldn't force myself to update if there's nthg to say or rather let y'all know.

till i'm in the mood to blog...

pei eh!! i've updated!! or rather tried! hahahhaa

/shld i?
i told you at 1:08 PM